


Christmas with You

by plinth_of_life



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2019, Christmas, Established Relationship, Fluff, Homophobic Language, Howell family - Freeform, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:28:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21925207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plinth_of_life/pseuds/plinth_of_life
Summary: prompt:Dan and Phil celebrating their first holiday season together.Dan and Phil spend their first Christmas together as a couple, joining the Howell family for Christmas Eve in Wokingham.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 8
Kudos: 57
Collections: Phandom Fic Fests Holiday Exchange 2019





	Christmas with You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [botanicalskeleton](https://archiveofourown.org/users/botanicalskeleton/gifts).



> Written for the Phandom Fic Fests Holiday Exchange 2019
> 
> Many thanks to @panlesters for beta reading!

It was a cold December night, the kind that blew frigid air into every aging building in London. Even inside his own house, covered in his blankets and his partner, Dan felt chilled to his bones. All he had to do was pick up the phone, make the call, and move on. Yet, this was a call he was not quite mentally prepared for, though he may never be totally prepared for it.

“Just call her, Dan. We’re adults. No matter how she reacts, she can’t tell us what we can and can’t do.”

Dan simply held Phil a little closer and placed a kiss on top of his head. Perhaps he was right. It wasn’t like Dan’s mother could persuade him. He and Phil had made their plans and now they simply had to announce them.

He picked up the phone with a shaky hand, dialed, and held it to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Hi, mum.”

“Oh, Daniel! I was wondering when you’d reach out. How are you?”

“I’m fine, mum. Are you doing alright?”

“Yeah, I’m getting on. I’ve been waiting all week to hear about your holiday plans, did you finally work something out?”

“Well, yes… I got train tickets to Reading for the 23rd.”

“Fantastic! I was worried they’d sell out or hike up the price before you got around to buying them.”

“Well, you know me, always a procrastinator…”

“So, how long are you staying then? I know you usually like to head out right after the big dinner.”

“Actually, mum, I—”

“Oh, never mind, don’t let me guilt trip you, dear. You’ve already had your fair share of me in France and I know what you’re like when you don’t get to see Phil for a while…”

“Oh my god,” Dan muttered under his breath. “Mum, Phil is coming with me this year.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful! I haven’t seen him in such a long time. I’m sure he’ll miss his family on Christmas though.”

“Well, he’s going to be with his family on Christmas, as a matter of fact… and I’m coming with him. We’re flying to the Isle of Man on Christmas morning.”

Dan shivered when he heard no response on the other end. After a long pause, his mum began to speak.

“I understand. You and Phil are together now, or, erm, well, you have been for a while and I should let you spend the holidays together. It’s only fair.”

“Look, we’ll try our best to spend Christmas with you next year. I’m sorry, mum.”

“No, no, don’t apologize, we’ll have a nice Christmas, though you will certainly be missed. Say hello to Phil for me, alright?”

“Sure, mum. We’ll see you soon.”

“Goodbye, Daniel.”

“Bye.”

***

The only thing that could rid Dan of his incessant chills was the grip of Phil’s hand. He still wasn’t used to showing affection in public but he figured that nothing too dramatic could happen on a train ride and he cared more about lowering his anxiety than what others around him may think about the gesture anyway.

“It’s going to be alright,” Phil whispered softly into Dan’s ear. Though Phil spent weeks reassuring him that they made the right decision, Dan still felt the need for a reminder.

“Your family understands. They know me and they know how close you are with my family. They know how much this means to us.”

Dan knew Phil was right, he was always right. Despite being in a relationship for ten years, the couple had never spent a proper Christmas together. Sure, they had their fair share of Christmas Eves with the Lester family but Dan always left for Wokingham in time for Christmas Day. No matter how much he always missed Phil, he certainly didn’t want to go without seeing his mum, brother, grandparents, and of course Colin, no matter how difficult it was to stay in his hometown for an extended period of time. Perhaps that’s why he was never brave enough to bring Phil. Though they had been in Wokingham together before and Phil knew the Howells as well as he could for being Dan’s “long-term housemate,” it was nothing like staying with Phil’s family. To Dan, being with the Lesters represented the better portion of his life so far and being home always reminded him of all that came before. It didn’t feel right to be in a place where he felt so much pain and trauma with his partner, the man who took all of that pain away.

But of course, Phil was right. All of that pain was gone now. Dan was out to his family, who welcomed him with a surprising amount of support and love. They knew how special Phil was to him and they understood why he had to hide that part of his life for so long. Now they could see Phil for who he truly was, Dan’s best friend but also his boyfriend, the man he was ready to spend the rest of his life with.

Dan gripped Phil’s hand a little harder and leaned his head on Phil’s chest. The warmth surrounding him was much more important than any attention the other passengers could give him.

“Yeah, you’re right. No matter what happens, it’ll be a good holiday, as long as we’re together.”

***

Only a soft knock was needed to usher in a calamity of sound from the other side of the door. Dan gripped Phil’s hand a little tighter when he heard all the commotion of feet stomping around, claws skittering across the floor, and hurried voices inside his childhood home. Finally, Karen Howell appeared from behind the door to bring the two men in from the cold.

“Daniel! Hello, sweetheart!,” Karen exclaimed, reaching up to give Dan a kiss on the cheek.

Her eyes flickered to her son’s hand, still firmly clasped to another, slightly paler one, before looking up at Phil with a tight smile.

“And hello Phil! How are you, dear?”

“I’m good, thank you!” Phil said as he leaned in for a quick hug.

“Oh, I’m glad. Now, I’ve got a couple dozen Christmas biscuits to take care of and I should let you boys settle in. You’re both up in Daniel’s old room. I hope the bed’s not too small for the both of you—”

“We’ll be fine, mum, thank you.” Dan gave her a quick hug before leading Phil upstairs and away from the holiday commotion.

Dan let out a deep exhale as he entered his former bedroom, releasing all the tension he built up in his chest within just the last few minutes. Phil closed the door behind them and, in their newfound privacy, wrapped his arms around Dan, running his fingers through thick brown curls.

“Bloody hell, I can’t even remember the last time I was in this room with you,” Dan muttered into Phil’s jumper.

Phil let out a soft chuckle and pulled away just enough to make eye contact with his partner.

“Well, we certainly weren’t holding hands in front of your mum, and I don’t recall her worrying about the size of the bed last time.”

“God, I really hope she doesn’t think we’re going to fuck on this bed. Because no matter how much I love you, we are not fucking on this bed.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t force you to relive all your adolescent fantasies about giving AmazingPhil some sweet lovin’ in this bed,” Phil could barely get through his sentence without giggling uncontrollably and getting a light smack on the head.

“Oi! You’re not getting any lovin’ until 2021 if you keep this up!”

Despite his outward annoyance, Dan grinned fondly at his partner and leaned in for a kiss, the first one he wasn’t afraid to have behind the closed doors of his former home.

***

After a quick dinner on the eve of Christmas Eve, Dan and Phil headed back up to the room to settle into the too-small bed for a night of rest before the first day of real holiday festivities.

Once they brushed their teeth and put on their pajamas, the two men climbed into bed, a little more tangled up than they would be in their much more spacious bed at home, even on a cold night like this.

***

“Daniel! Come on, I need you to get up and go to school. You’re going to be late.”

Dan slowly opened his eyes at the sound of his mother’s tired yet incessant commands. The brown walls around him came into focus and he remembered how small of a space he was forced to inhabit. But as he rose from his bed, the walls seemed to move in around him, pushing him back towards his bed. He started to hear voices, low, deep, and achingly familiar, slowly getting louder as the walls caved in closer and closer.

_ Ever heard of a haicut, you fuckin’ bum boy? _

_ Hey fairy, come here and let me wipe that stupid smirk off your face! _

_ What are you looking at, faggot?! _

The last word echoed through the impossibly small room, as if the sound was traveling through the widest of halls. Dan was curled up on his bed, with walls enclosing every side of the mattress. He tried to cover his ears but the echoing word seemed louder the more he tried to block it out. He began to sink into the bed, an attempt to escape the invisible chaos around him, burrowing a hole in the mattress, dropping lower and lower and lower… 

***

He sat up, drenched in sweat, with an incessant pounding in his chest. 

Then, a sudden burst of light filled the room and a concerned voice materialized from somewhere nearby.

“DAN! What happened?? Are you alright?”

He looked over and squinted at the brightness radiating from the lamp on the bedside table, before focusing on the man beside him. Those bright blue eyes were wide and his face was ghostly pale.

Why was he surrounded by those ugly brown walls yet again? Dan looked back at the man through tear-filled eyes but he couldn’t guide his tongue to speak or his body to move.

“You’re safe, bear. You’re in your old home, in bed, next to me. You’re okay.”

_ You’re okay. _

The sinking mattress could not have swallowed him whole after all. Everything was light now and everything would be okay because this man was next to him. Phil had never left his side.

“What happened, baby? Why are you scared?” Phil asked gently, reaching his arm around Dan and pulling him close. Dan’s head fell onto Phil’s chest and nuzzled into his t-shirt, wiping away his tears on the soft, warm fabric.

“I can’t be back here… It was so scary… ” Dan whispered so quietly that Phil could barely make out the words.

“In your nightmare?” Phil responded, his voice tight and concerned.

“No… well, yes. But it was here. This room. This house. This stupid, fucked-up town.”

Phil inhaled sharply and silently tightened his embrace. He could feel Dan’s heart beat accelerate and hear his breaths quicken. He kissed his partner’s temple and rubbed his back in a soothing rhythm. Phil breathed in deeply and exhaled slowly, over and over until Dan could do the same. Finally, he was able to speak again.

“I just was back to being a kid again. I was so scared, Phil. I didn’t know how much I needed you.” Dan kept his head buried in Phil’s shirt. After another kiss to the temple and a couple of ragged breaths, Phil shakily spoke.

“I love you. You’re the one that gave my life meaning, Dan. Nothing would be the same without you.”

Neither man had any more words left to say. They simply looked into each other’s eyes and pressed their lips together in a tender kiss. When they pulled away, Dan laid flat on the bed, placing his head back on the pillow. He began drifting off to sleep as Phil held him close, within the too-small bed of his youth.

***

“Good morning, love”

Dan’s eyes fluttered open upon hearing the deep, husky voice next to him.

“Morning,” he replied, leaning over for a kiss.

“Do you feel any better after some good sleep? I was genuinely worried about you.”

“I slept fine, I’m just a little pissed off… why can’t I just get over my fuckin’ trauma for once? This bloody house is killing me.”

“You just have a lot to work through, babe. It’s not like saying ‘I’m gay’ to your family is some magic spell that’ll get rid of everything that happened to you here.”

“Ugh, it’s too early for your sensible reasoning. I want gay magic.”

Dan crossed his arms and jutted out his lower lip. Phil smirked and placed a kiss on Dan’s pouty lips.

“How about we get some coffee, magic man?”

***

Interacting with Dan’s family wasn’t bad, per se. Just awkward and a little confusing, like starting a TV show in the middle of the tenth season, with only a vague synopsis of the plot going in. Everyone was very polite, but of course, they also had a lot of catching up to do.

When Dan and Phil came downstairs for breakfast that morning, they remembered how much exposition was still undiscussed.

Karen and Adrian were sitting at the kitchen table as the two men walked in. She was sipping coffee and skimming the newspaper while Adrian scrolled through social media and drank some too-green protein concoction.

“Good morning,” Dan mumbled, walking over to the cupboard and taking out two mugs.

“Oh, good morning! Did you boys sleep well?” Karen said, a little taken aback by their sudden appearance.

Phil glanced at Dan, who slightly shook his head as he poured coffee into the mugs, before speaking.

“Not too bad, thank you. I had a dream about our fish for the fourth night in a row.”

“Pardon? Your fish?”

“Oh, yeah me and Dan adopted a betta fish a couple months ago. His name is Norman and he’s the best, most beautiful boy. Let me find a picture to show you.”

“Hmm, did you mention him last time you called, Daniel? I didn’t know you two had a pet together, that’s a pretty big step.”

“Well, it’s only been a decade, mum,” Dan grumbled as he handed Phil his coffee and watched his mother look at Phil’s phone, zooming in on a picture of Norman.

“Oh, he is beautiful! What pretty scales! Maybe I should stop by some time and meet him in person. It’s been a while since I’ve seen the flat.”

“Actually, we’re moving pretty soon. Did I tell you we bought a house?” Dan sat down and looked at his mother with furrowed brows.

Adrian finally glanced up at this point and looked back at Dan quizzically. Phil chuckled to himself at how even more similar the brothers looked with confused expressions on their faces.

“Oh my! You may have mentioned it but I thought that was simply an idea you had. I guess I don’t really understand why you need all that space for just the two of you.”

“Well, we’re planning on it being more than the two of us someday soon…” Phil said softly.

Karen gasped with a hand over her mouth. Adrian shook his head with a smile and got up to wash the green residue from his cup.

“I had no idea you were planning on having kids… Soon?!”

“Soon? No, no, no, no, no,” Dan nervously laughed and ran a hand through his messy hair before continuing. “We have to keep this fish alive first. Then we’ll see how we do with a dog. But yeah, if all goes well, we’re hoping to have a couple kids. NOT soon though.”

“Blimey, I’ll have to get a tour of the house then when you move in. I can’t wait to see where my future little grandbabies will be living.”

Phil rose from the table at the sign of Dan’s rosy patches growing brighter.

“Well, we’ll definitely have to show you around the place. Thanks for the coffee, Karen. Dan, we still have some presents to wrap, don’t we? Let us know if we can be of any help for dinner.”

Phil took Dan’s hand and lead him from the table. They quickly made it back to the old bedroom and fell back onto the bed.

“Remind me why we’re here again?”

“As much as she embarasses you, we can’t exactly live in a house with our dog and three children without your mum knowing. We’re done living a lie, right?”

“Yeah, yeah… those are going to be some spoiled grandbabies, huh?”

Phil chuckled and hit him lightly in the arm. Dan frowned but crawled closer to Phil anyway, settling back onto the bed and stealing a little alone time before the festivities continued.

***

After a lazy morning of cuddles, snacks, and avoiding more awkward conversations, Dan and Phil settled into the boredom of the afternoon. Although he offered, both of them knew their lackluster cooking abilities wouldn’t do Karen much of a service. So, without anywhere interesting to go within walking distance, they stayed in the house, mostly keeping to Dan’s old room.

“You know what?” Phil asked as they sat on the bed, his arm around Dan’s shoulders.

“What?”

“As awkward and boring as it is, I’m really happy I get to have you all to myself this whole holiday.”

Dan looked up at Phil with a warm smile. Then, all of a sudden, he reached for his phone on the other end of the bed.

“You know what? We should take a picture with these awful walls.”

“AmazingDan 2.0, perhaps?”

“Oh shut up and smile, you dork!”

Phil would normally move his arm off Dan’s back and scooch over a little if it were any other year. But, they had nothing to hide anymore and it was almost Christmas so they were feeling generous towards their fans.

Dan’s head was tilted in the photo, leaning into Phil and smiling happily. The two of them were impossibly close together, even more than they’d usually show, but they looked happier than they ever thought possible too.

Dan captioned the photo and posted it on Instagram before Phil got a chance to look at it.

“You cheeky shit,” he giggled as he read the caption.

_ all I want is Christmas with you… mariah carey. come to Wokingham, already :/ _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments, kudos, and reblogs are always appreciated <3


End file.
